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This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. I find dating to be humiliating and exhausting: Each time I get rejected because of it, it makes me less likely to try again. How can I feel less discouraged about trying to date with herpes? And how do I tell someone I want to be intimate with?
Positive Singles is for people with herpes and STDs, MPWH is for people with herpes, and WATCH: STIs on the rise in Canada and the U.S.
A few years ago, back when I was regularly trolling OKCupid for dates, I received a message from a potential paramour. He’d been scanning through the survey answers associated with my profile, and one response in particular gave him pause: when asked whether I’d consider dating someone with herpes, I’d responded no. It wasn’t some carefully considered stance on sexual transmitted infections, or grand statement about herpes.
For him, however, it was a potential deal breaker: As you’ve probably figured out by now, my suitor was a member of that vast group of sexually active adults who’ve been infected with herpes. The internet was supposed to be transformative for people with incurable, but highly preventable, STIs like herpes simplex virus HSV who wanted to date while being open about their status.
There’s no question that these sites which have even spawned their own Tinder-like apps are a fantastic demonstration of how innovative online dating platforms can be. But even as they bring together a number of people living with STIs, they don’t seem to do much to improve general education about living with herpes and other STIs.
And as a result, people going online in search of connection and support often end up feeling stigmatized, isolated, and more alone than ever. And in the beginning, that seemed to be the case.
Gone are the days when you were forced to live a life of solitude on contracting herpes. While the stigma attached to herpes continues to haunt the society, the online world if fortunately free from it. As a matter of fact, dating with herpes is said to be extremely difficult in the real world as you have no idea of whether the person you’re seeking is okay with it or is dreaded by the fact that you carry the herpes simplex virus.
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Living and dating with an STI is no joke—here’s how to manage it “I’m a year-old woman living with genital herpes, and I’ve mostly been single since contracting Right now, one in seven people in Canada has herpes.
I find navigating the dating scene to be humiliating and exhausting: Each time I get rejected because of it, it makes me less likely to try again. How can I feel less discouraged about trying to date with herpes? And how do I tell someone I want to be intimate with? How did we become so insensitive about sexually transmitted infections? Like, stop it with the herpes jokes, guys. Well, for one thing, sex education fails to give enough weight to A how common chronic STIs are, and B how not to be an asshole about them.
No wonder STIs became the boogeyman for so many—we fear what we do not understand. Right now, one in seven people in Canada has herpes. The overall rate of STI infections is on the rise; possible explanations include easier access to casual sex partners via apps; condom use going down because of the false perception that all STIs are easily curable; and a lack of education, accessibility for testing, and treatment. For information about sexual and reproductive health, including pregnancy options, and for referrals to clinics and hospitals that provide reproductive health services, including abortion, anywhere in Canada, please call the confidential hour toll-free information and referral line.
Breadcrumb Home What’s New. I have herpes. How do I tell someone I want to Date? Continue reading this article.